it's like they've never read poetry
oh the things i would achieve if i could care for this body as my own
markus i miss u
a relationship should be 50/50: you put the food on the table, & i put the table under the food
third time's the charm! i say as i put the water to boil for the 3rd time after forgetting about it twice in an hour
people allowed to speak french to me: pretty fem girls who want to practice their french; my family; salvatore
only want a record player for flatsound records
no matter how much you warn them they'll still blame it on you
maybe my blue bike was called Heron for a reason
that time of the year again (you are jeff)
my inability to connect with people is concerning
blue i get you
you would think after all this time i'd have gotten used to it
no fucking consideration for my duolingo streak smh
i'm so angry
just remembered i had fish
but i think i can feel it closing in, falling down
dans quoi je m'embarque encore
what about the home in my arms?
i'm like a kid stumbling through spiderwebs & wanting to set fire to all this fucking haunted house
fine i'll just do it myself then
heals
i'm afraid the reason is her
oh to believe
it's not fun anymore
lots of words to say now in french huh
hate when i'm going through stuff i posted & see a misspelling like nooo that's not the kind of person i am i promise i promise (though it apparently is & it's fine)
who wants to be unreasonable with me pls
"i care about you this" "i care about you that" when are y'all gonna say you love me jesus
"we could stay friends you're my closest friend here" yeah like i don't still have your bite marks on my arm stfu
crush ppt needs to be updated
i do love being reassured that my plan is a good one
my classes are just a support group for being tired
endgoal: butch with no social media
one thing i'm good at is seeing the extra space
teacher disappeared again
i do not want to explain what i'm doing i want to do it & for it to work
my fatal flaw may be that i have no time for comments or drafts
code-switching in code
obsessed with coding sorry
is it really outing someone if it's the expected & socially accepted relationship???
if brain not so full of them brain could be full of other things
getting rid of twitter for (almost) good feels very freeing
slowly deleting everything
i hope i never hear the word limerence again
perhaps i made the wrong choice with languages huh
sorry i can't sleep i'm too busy deleting my presence from the world wide web
deleted the cursed app again so all my thoughts are gonna come here again
the kind of person that inspires me - to write, to riot, to disappear
calling your friends for 6h >>>
when j goes to r's apartment after getting attacked & is scared to ask for help from her but r takes care of j all the same & j writes thank you for your love that's it that's why it's the best book i think
in what is commonly called, limbo
i think it's so funny every time i learn that me & him have one more **** in common because damn we could've really done great things if things had started out just slightly different lmao
roommate: won't be here next weekend so you'll have the flat to yourself :)
me: oh no
yes i have used different colored hearts for different people in my life because like what am i gonna do use the same one? couldn't be me
i'll never know if they die
brain buzzing
cook more things in pickle juice
envie d'aller faire dodo
or is it lol
everything is okay actually
if ******* so bad why brain go :) instantly
do i want to get married? for the drama, maybe
not to be dramatic but i think i might fail
thought i was sad but actually i just hadn't eaten potatoes in a while
i stg why is everything so complicated
maybe i should email her again
being like "yeah idk you know when you're doing something with someone & it's chill or you're just hanging out & you look at them & you're like huh. i'm fucked aren't i. in a very good way? yeah that's feelings"
& them being like "like when i was cooking for you?"
like yes yes exactly like that but also shhh
but we always come back don't we
book book book
it's that "bipolar ii?" time of the year again
i've never heard so on & so forth so much as i do here
idk this seems pretty useless
varje dag the urge to quit
sometimes i think we could've done great things
perdre sa voix
i hate this (unspecified)
a slippery slope
thinking about the cat that adopted me
are all my actions just for the sake of poetry, even when i haven't written in months, even when i think they're not, even when i desperately try to resist it?
if you say anything even remotely blunt & hurtful to me i will turn it into a meme with my friends so it no longer stings every time i think about it & i can just go haha. ha. haaaa.
mosquitos are kicking my ass so bad
hate when they change the layout of my favorite webpages (translation dictionaries)
the urge to add "i think" to a statement i am, in fact, quite certain of
fatima daas!!!!
she's a 10 but she keeps sending emails to the advice podcast
oh the body & its messages
wrist acting up again
double-fisting beer & tea (as a creative process)
if i can't dance in my underwear while cooking i don't want to cook
mais comment on en parle quoi
face update! [pic of the same exact face, hair & outfit i've had for 5 years]
a little annoyed but it's cool everything's gonna be fine
yesterday was all kinds of tender
people not texting back when it's something important + time sensitive make me want to st4b someone
just tired
faire bobo ça restera toujours à lui
when i'm ***** i just want to tell everyone i love them haha
gosh this communication stuff? hard
another thing about me is that if you send me a picture of you in a suit i will respond with "SUIT" before anything else
sometimes things are pretty easy actually
one thing about me is that i will not ever hug you or hold your hand or have my hand on you without stroking you at least with my thumb
le sang qui bout comme une marmelade is a good line idk
i feel like a 14 y/o boyyy this shit is ridiculous
thank you to the mean lesbians
thinking about fatima daas & her translated-into-ten-languages-and-adapted-into-a-movie first novel
i can't believe my number 1 reason why i should maybe get some therapy again is to talk about all my feelings around language & languages like this should not be the center of my discomfort in life
things are fine actually
fracasser
if you see me losing my mind over these essays no you didn't
adumbration
when academic papers are less than 15 pages,,, so hot
just realized none of my characters in my novel have glasses (or like i haven't mentioned it & didn't envision them with any when taking my little notes & stuff) & it feels so strange
like why/how did i omit this? literally most people in my life has glasses including me idk why i'm writing a no-glasses universe smh
ravioles >>>
yesterday went well??!! i missed that
hearing her rings fall >>>
yeah it feels shitty but it's also probably fine actually
"tu vis comme un sims un peu"
thinking about anne sylvestre watching portrait de la jeune fille en feu again
grrrr
i Will cry over this
like not a single german word left in my head
why don't i speak german anymore hahaha i hate this
deleting insta & doing duolingo every time i feel like going on insta instead
am i just re-doing the same shit
again?
i'm not saying i've been feeling good these past few days because of /that/ i'm just saying there's an interesting correlation here
i really hate everything about ***** *****
performance art where i just walk away
lui parler c'est un peu comme parler à un mec cis c'est beaucoup de flattering his ego & noding when he tells you how smart & confident & likeable he is
aaah i could go see him in berlin!!!!
screaming crying because i'm not fluent in 5 languages yet
the bomb could've been such a screaming angry song but no it's a slow..
i think florence + the machine could scream a little more
the sweetest feeling is when i don't have a crush on people anymore & they're just cool people i can interact normally with without my brain going "hmm what if they see write through this very normal message & realize you're crushing on them & then hate you for it"
i hate when people see me people should stop seeing me
making a friend read part of my novel for the first time. * screams *
un jour i'll have an anne sylvestre themed tattoo
anne sylvestre qui chante pour un portrait de moi,,, sa voix is so full of emotions gosh vraiment une de mes chansons préférées d'elle
trust in the creative process (getting *****)
i want to speak all the languages but i also don't learn the languages so that's a problem
all this writing doesn't change the outcome
honestly i'm missing like two chapters or something but i don't know how to make them work smh
mordre
something about [redacted] really makes you realize how we are all nothing :)
the knife again
just read a book in one sitting again!! (for future reference for when i no longer remember: love me tender, constance debré)
no one's native language is latin...
?
making soup is good
predictability huh
lesbian visibility this lesbian visibility that,, what about lesbian kissability huh? i don't wanna be visible i wanna be smooched!!!
happy birthday lesbians
when they tell you they like how you smell & how your scent mixes well with the citrus-y scent of the blood oranges >>>
thinking about that big oversized blue sweater... i miss you
"translation is the most intimate act of reading" (spivak 1993)
if i send you a message chances are i've 100% forgotten about it in the next 5 minutes
it was all going to come to this: gymbros
drinking protein shakes with m** like life intended me to smh
screaming crying etc thinking about her visiting me like what incredible
the thought they exist(ed) in the same universe!!!!
anne sylvestre a vu portrait de la jeune fille
& ça l'a tellement touchée
qu'elle a écrit un message à céline sciamma
brain,,, shush
i love a hopeless-but-we-still-make-hope series
dAMN severance is good though
hate when you're trying to develop a new crush but the internet gives you nothing
pits & pats & pots of despair huh
the internal & infernal shame & embarrassment of getting the channels mixed up
no
dreamt i was in a videogame/gang movie where we were running away from people & my sister died ://
on marche sur la tête
my life soundtrack is just the resetti music from ac ww
if i hear "you're valid" one more time i'm going to break something methinks
"sexism against men" ?? ma'am
så så full av kärlek till mina vänner!!!
some people are just so very bite-able
tattoo time
big rest before tattoo tomorrow hopefully please universe let me have it please
oh no what if they don't come over :( jag skulle bli lite ledsen
my toxic trait is starting to learn a new language before i actually master the one i'm currently learning
moi & v**** passion décaler notre rdv
just found le roi soleil with english subs in not shitty quality so Yes i will force my friends to watch it
rain rain rain rain rain
j'y pense (le roi soleil)
hahaha do you ever realize you have like 0 connection to your life hihihi
writing my essay in two parts which are "being without a name" and "being nameless" like they're two completely different things that entail different effects because i am, indeed, insufferable
"you sound like a mitski song right now"
no religion, only chaos
dreams i shouldn't be having >:(
i think maybe if i had to change name one day i wouldn't want to choose it. like maybe have a say but also, a name is so much linked to social relations that i think it'd be important for me to have the people i love & who love me decide on a name. idk there's just something about a name being given that warms my heart.
diam's though >>>>
if you're not talking about getting married with your ex; reconsider
3rd season of hannibal lost me i no longer have any idea what's happening
might just scream
all my friends living their best lives!!!!!! i'm so here for it!!!!!! i love them so much!!!!!!
why such cramps am i ovulating aGAIN
the fact it's day longer is now fucking me up because now it's still daylight & i'm like "huh it must be 4pm or something" & it's like,, 8
it snowed!! but now it's over :(
when are my friends getting married i really wanna go to a wedding
so a friend i don't talk to that much anymore just answered my story with "i do the same things as you but you always do them in a cooler way i'm sick of it" & i,, don't know what to say?? like also she only sees what i post like?? of course it's gonna look "cooler" but also wtf does that meaaan like how do i do things "in a cooler way" i'm honestly confused grr
imagine your last name is slaughter,,, i'm jealous
gay butches love wearing sword earrings & looking cool in class huh
anytime anyone is older than me i go grr
i think the fact i need to put on pants to go make myself food is one of the main obstacles in my life rn
what if... me... in the ocean...
"* likes messages & never answers *" my brother in christ you're the one who asked my thoughts
if i ever publish a book that's like in bookstores & stuff you're allowed—nay, encouraged—to st**l it
oh to have late-afternoon-that-seeps-into-night conversations in the yellow kitchen of an old house in the country while drinking wine & eating chocolate
what if i, haha, made 26 of them
sometimes my browser will register that it should for some reason be in norwegian & i know this is the consequences of some action i did when i was learning norwegian 5 years ago but i just don't know what
hélène cixous writing about crêpes pendant des pages was not what i expected but perhaps the hero i needed & deserved
game called "how many books can you read over the same period of time before you actually finish one?". there is no winner. only me & i am losing so flagrantly.
okay okay okay but wait s3 of hannibal starting with our dear riding his little motorbike & then s4 of killing eve starting with our dear riding her little motorbike? gay
the dangerous & tempting game of having as many tabs & windows & projects open at once
killing eve just hannibal for lesbians
"i need advice with the man i'm seeing"
love the only advice you're getting from me is: don't
any time anyone says "my boyfriend" my brain shuts off
another win for me making every single one of my assignments as gay & trans as i possibly can
a language is a box that traps you. even if it's see-through. even when it's see-through.
idk but every time i read rs i want to scream all over again
the internet is a grave site
every one has the same name
tuesday/thursday will be the end of second-language english speakers won't it
also i should be sleeping because i gotta get up early tomorrow but brain said !!!! thoughts !!!!
the concept of b*r**l is so funny to me because it's like, if i had to show my friends a pic of what i'm doing at a random time everyday it would absolutely be the same pic always & then they would Worry
listen there's just so many people i'll never meet & i'm like okay that's fine but then to meet people & know you could've been friends with them but life didn't push you hard enough together so your paths just kinda crossed & faded away: infuriating
i am sometimes so mad at the circumstances of life
some people i just wanna be their friends so much grrr
the way 90% of my poems start with 'I' :|
a reason i like sweden is also a reason i hate sweden & that is the way it makes it so hard for [redacted]
what if i (hihi) canceled all my plans for the upcoming weeks
ngl i miss my books
gorgeous gorgeous people out in the world
looking up how to break up with your th*******, as i do
i could never do that thing in series where they're like "you don't have to talk to me right now, but know i'll be sitting here until you're ready" because it's like,, five minutes in i'd have to be like "oops sorry gotta pee, i'll be right back"
something about people loving the people you love that makes them so lovable!!!
all i want is wear suits & be handsome
might just lose it again, you know, for fun
en fait les aprems avec a*** ça me manque tellement genre c'était si chill & doux & simple & ugh i miss it :'(
but honestly y'all i'm so tired
my great aunt sent me a postcard & she tells me about how the winter was not so bad & now she's starting to go back to looking after her plants!!! so good!!!
i like when people write letters or postcards & they write the date & the place i think it's very good
she brings so much joy to me
I LOVE HER SO MUCH
alright time to write * cracks knuckles * * cracks neck * * cracks toes * * cracks hips * * cracks knees * * cracks shoulders * * cracks back * * cracks
well, you gotta do what you gotta do * proceeds to listen to music linked to them & remember all the memories so i can pull a damn chapbook out my ass in ten days *
if you say "between X and X pages" do not also say "give or take"??? grrr
well yes i know technically i should let it go but also it haunts my poems in a way that makes them good
not me about to enter a writing craze again
what if i, um, did another abecedarium
eliot & pound had gay sex
why tf do you pronounce the x love
incredible wow
aaah when you get a reference!! like you know a thing & then you read to thing it references & you go :O :O :O
tonight was such a good evening
about to scream about the stockholm masters though it seems so,,, interestiiing
"i think reinvention is a form of avoidance" hmm
my love language is the donkey carrying the little sheep
so tired of the way people in movies/series have s** so easily like get tf out
ja so i think i hate the novel i've been writing hihi oops
someone just accept my translations plEASE
maybe,, maybe i understand what they meant
people are making good art, still, always, forever
thinking how i singlehandedly killed my class's discord intro channel by being too funny
i, too, want to receive compliments on my art
i don't know any other word than good oops
gonna have to watch hannibal one of these days
yknow sometimes things fade & it's okay & you can think back to sitting on the wall looking out & chatting but it won't bring back the times & it's okay
can you believe she's dead?? tragic to me
fancy fancy glasses but is any of this me?
i am king yknow
what if i went to like, idk, london
thinking about pr*****
crying listening to anne sylvestre kid songs
(again)
envie d'aller à désertin grr
about to burst vraiment faut que j'aille visiter d'autres horizons but also do like some grocery shopping
baudelaire said it first but il est l'heure de s'enivrer
(****king & complimenting people because i am, in fact, cool like that)
imagine living in the us
man i wanna know all the languages so much i might cry
mon dieu comme j'ai envie de pain
400 for a concert??? mon dieu
j'arrête pas de penser au fait que secret ça se dit hemlig/heimlich/etc genre vraiment the link with home is so so close
but it's just.. it's him. it's still always him, annoyingly, achingly, but still
deleted insta from my phone again ayo
i might scream
wanna be gay in a little gay way!!! grrr
sometimes i will go days without listening to anne sylvestre & then i'll start again & it will bring tears!! to my eyes!! because gosh i love her
anne sylvestre!!!
oh to eat soft cookies with a pal & share the last one
i don't need to listen to ten minutes of your bullshit i need to listen to ten minutes of relaxing whale sounds but HERE I AM
jellybeansoup
break me open like a pistachio
no caring only daring
listening to icp again
i'm losing my mind
my brain!!! my braiiiin!!!
no tattoo today
puzzles as an act of transgenerational love
but also who do i want to be who do i want to be
My mother said I could be anything
I wanted—but I chose to live.
i can actually do whatever tf i want haha what?
the desire the shed my theoretical skin off & build myself anew
feeling feral & foul
the way looking up my name & seeing people like my poetry makes me go !!
the incessant need to scream
i didn't know how it worked back then & i probably don't know how it works now because i am, indeed, 85 years old
runaway bride! or groom i guess?? but it seems like The Internet (understand, wiktionary dot org) only knows of runaway brides smh
okay but what's like the opposite of elope
i'm not saying this is what's happening but you know when flatsound wrote
and i’ve convinced myself
that you still talk to me
in the form of sylvia plath quotes
left in places you know i’ll see
well i think about that Often
(my brain)
absolutely unhiiinged
honey honey are you okay? you haven't completely remade your internet persona in a few weeks :o
thinking about you cannot kill me in the way that matters
remember when in your little insta notif page thing there was a side where you could see what people you followed had liked? thinking about that
i just wish all of this could be true for once
listen maybe my brain is just full of one thought (him) & maybe it's full of many thoughts (all the other things in my life) but the thought of him sounds like the least threatening so far because,, reasons but also,, will we ever talk about It? will i ever be able to?
okay but when i drink & close my eyes it's like i'm only in my body like there's nothing else & that's kinda good?? idk
we should bring back humming
am i seeing anyone? love the only person i'm capable of seeing rn is a therapist
oh to lay in grass & drink red wine from the bottle & want to kiss you
brain going down?
oh to sleep
didn't get tattooed so this day is not a good day for dykes
i am so tired of thoughts
someone complimented my lesbians against transphobia sticker & someone else complimented my many rings so i guess today is a good day for dykes
only using words like ravenous when talking about desire from now on
the way the light in the bathroom struggles to blink on—that's how i'll love you
bleeding my guts out every two weeks & not being obsessed with cannibalistic/hunger themes in queer love & sex? i can't imagine
if you don't want to absolutely consume in the most tender way the person you love,,,, why
i stg it's so easy to love people like i'm sorry but imagine not loving people you just look at a person & then they do whatever thing that is very Them of them & that's it you're in love
therapist said why don't you try meditating bitch
are my sacrifices not extravagant
feels like i'm going to ***
many thoughts & tangents in this class
we are 5 people aaah
jag är så trött
i love lesbians
if you're gonna bullshit your essay you might as well make it gay
i think i really want to stay in sweden
sorry to my neighbors who have to listen to my music change vibes every two day i wish i could offer you consistency but i just can't
choas chaos
the lesbian urge to become immortelle pour avoir une épée
"I'm sorry. We know how it works. The world is no longer mysterious."
j'en ai vraiment marre d'être leur bouquet mystère
someone keep me from messaging him istg
had a dream i had plants to water
hate poets
love some communication
lil panic at the minor inconvenience store
dreamed about camp rock
i'll be honest,, certainty is an unknown concept to me
so many documeeents
will i see you again
not kennyyy
a very lesbian move
every time i see vg i get PUMPED
i don't know how i'd get through another move though lmao
nothing like waking up from a traumatizing dream at the exact moment before it gets better :))))
the way i picked up on her facial expressions & ways of talking & acting so fast TERRIFIES me like i am really a void to fill with whoever i'm hanging out with's personality
writing this essay à la zeub with zero quotes & no notes, only what i remember from the books we have to compare
you know you're in for a ride when you're thinking about presents to get them
my type is people who want to get me into biking
brain said i will know things but be convinced i know nothing
keep dreaming i'm being chased or killing people or both
the way there's really 0 info about her loving women on the whole internet except ~30s of an interview smh
2022 la défaite des homosexuel.les :(
archives archives archives
anne sylvestre & her gf
actually nvm i have no expectations so technically it's already living up
when will france live up to my expectations
with some people things really don't work like any sentence either of you say turn into conflict
anne sylvestre!!! her mind!!!
n'oublie pas ma dauphine à quel point je t'aimais
toast
lots of thoughts! none of them make sense! all of them loud!
i think maybe one should deal with their own guilt by oneself without necessarily trying to get confirmation from the other person whether or not they should feel guilty or not like idk
but he's the only one i can tell!! the only one i can rant to!! the only one i trust because what's the worse that could happen after that!! who else do i turn to!! i'm going to scream!!
nov-dec is the spotify blindspot. listen to that bad song on repeat. no one will know.
gbg: negative degrees
me: no haiiiir
first reading went so well!! everyone is a sweetheart!!
no thoughts just a yearning for blue jupiters
si c'était le dernier snaps so hard even 12 years later
lina hurtig
busy being butch at the game
going to watch soccer with other butches
today is a win
can't stop listening to podcasts
the way french teaching languages is so against teaching people how to speak naturally & so for teaching people to speak like a book smh
we have so much more to live
think i just burned myself with shower water because of the contrast with the cold outside oopsy doopsy
au delà d'être une autrice incroyable en plus
fatima daas la plus belle vraiment
forever grateful for olive oil
forever grateful for the cnrtl
oh gosh i haven't driven in a while oops
imagine this working out though
i just received an email, read it, & proceeded to reply to it instantly. so yeah, you could say i'm doing alright.
why are cishet white guys always so obsessed with election politics
"personne utilise iel" more like you have no nb friends smh
thinking about the 10-page essay i wrote in a day
the sweetness of responsibilities resolving themselves >>>
brain no understandy
oh to be gone
i don't want him to be my person anymore but anytime anything happens he's the only one i think of telling
naps
give me the gentleness of friends pls
artists be like "idk how i feel about you" & then exploit your relationship for artistic potential
imagine not thinking about anything
do all artists feel like they're lying?
0 nouvelles de mes potes ahahaha oh well
i just want to be somebody's reason to think thank god for lesbians
i'm going to scream
i've eaten way too much toast these past days
every three months my life repeats but in a new setting this is fun
the problem is i know all the moves
en fait hâte d'être une vieille dame & d'écouter je suis une vieille dame en buvant du thé & en pensant à anne sylvestre qui sera morte depuis longtemps mais encore dans mes oreilles
when in doubt, don't do that
things i want: to run
want to scream
when it doubt, do something
back to being mad at how incapable of having feelings for people i've become >:(
20 bucks le petit mont d'or mon cœur pleure
sleeping with a pile of clothes at the end of my bed so i can pretend the weight is a cat sleeping by my side
stop thinking honey
why is this so complicated ohlala
"i have an idea" is my least favorite sentence
about to create my character's apartment on the sims because i am Dedicated To Writing or something like that
moomin butch
really f4cking played myself on this one smh
the highschool drama NEVER ENDS
love looking at mouth diagrams trying to figure out how to make sounds
manifesting people accepting my rs translations
the way my brain goes back to the oa all the damn time
"ask the hard questions" i repeat after reading my costar, as i ask impossible & useless grammatical clarifications in class
purée c'est trop dur je m'endors
thinking about k3x
anyways, names: pretty cool
thinking about how in miraculous le papillon gives their names to the villains & so the power kinda resides in the names
"looking forward to it," she wrote, completely shitting her pants.
forgot you had to poet to be a poet
hadn't listened to flatboi in a while but it is exactly tonight's mood
merci le mousqueton
thinking about her & her voice (eva)
thinking about her (anne sylvestre)
i will forever have so much tenderness in my heart for her
je suis le pa pi llon
"you can't just be with someone because you don't want to hurt them"
book out book out book out
donnez maison d'édition qui publie de la poésie en traduction grrr
want to delete the whole end part i wrote a few days back it just doesn't fIT
must we really live, & i hate to say this, in a society?
book out tomorrow wtf
too many things to do aaaah
when someone criticizes the book you recommended them & you feel like their esteem of you has probably plummeted & now they hate you
about to take two extra courses for next semester because i, indeed, am capable of studies
book out on monday book out on monday
numbed out about that cancer shit
book printed book printed book printed
thinking about how one of the first things the girl i met with yesterday told me was that she expected me to be taller :))
omar rudberg? a sweetheart
grave la flemme là en fait oops
thinking about archives
he left them!!!!
my kitchen-mate moved out i hope he left the nems in the freezer
things go fast oh no
iels ont dit ok pour une lesbienne mais faudrait pas trop la voir quand même >:(
the lesbian content in l'amour est dans le pré is severely lacking c'est scandaleux
i'm jealous because he gets to go on with his *** **** & i'm stuck
no thoughts only love for my friends
thinking about him (le piercing à l'arcade)
the take on asking pronouns in french is usually "don't & just listen to how people gender themselves" but that can't translate well into english so hm
feeling, what do you call it, joy?
how many languages can i cram into this little brain of mine?
people!! so good!! love seeing real life people in the flesh!!
had a realization about why i'm writing this novel & it just proved once again that i have 0 control over my art & my art has all control over me
oh no my draft email got deleted now i'm back to square one of emailing a therapist
fourchette sternale
y'a des genxes vraiment je vous adore!!!
watching the circle only for the beautiful gay/lesbian solidarity it gives me
my grammar teacher is such a sweetheart
can you rent puzzles?
getting back into dating*
*learning a new language on the cursed owl app
imagine feeling comfortable looking into someone's eyes lmao
making zines with too many colors again cause i just love the fact they get absolutely fucked up when printed :))
yeah maybe i do miss the times of waiting in the cold in front of the l****** & the meetings until late
yeah maybe my brain is romanticizing that part of my life like it does with every other part of my past
miss hugging my tall friends
i want to make art that is full of rest but unfortunately all i write about is grrrr
thinking about the ocean (obsessively)
donnez plage svp
i need to talk to him about The Thing & i ✨ don't want to at all ✨
going through my notes app to write out au propre the poems i got on there is Not Fun!! so many emotions!! gross!!
you may not need memory to survive but you probably need it to live huh
leos on my mind
you can tell how dedicated i was to that relationship by the fact there are four (4) songs in my playlist about her
correction: is creative nonfiction just real-life fanfiction?
is fiction just real-life fanfiction?
so many new thoughts
all tech people
intimidating
does chuck e cheese still exist?
melancholia
about to have a class in a language i do! not! understand
lesbians winning
coming home is the softest phrase
oh to watch ghibli movies with someone you feel safe with
should i have stayed? should i have?
sometimes i think the only reason i'm here is because it was the next step
the himbo chronicles
thinking about how chickens' heads don't move
wish the walls weren't so thin they echo
what if we held hands,, & watched portrait de la jeune fille en feu,, & i could tell you all my favorite quotes from it,,
calling my friends >>>
it's raining for the first time (or perhaps the first time while i'm awake?) since i've gotten here & it feels,, appropriate
it feels like this year is just about me preparing to go back
sorry i can't come to the party i'm * checks notes * working on a novel?
what if men just stopped
dreamt i was with them & then when a left the other a cried in my arms & told me she loved me
men are so annoyinggg
didn't see the atlantic this year that's why sad
also remember when i showed her around my hometown?? incredible
sometimes i remember t w is blurbing my next chap & like htf wow
lmao what if i actually want to live in france though
lesbians!
kinda wish i was drinking wine & talking nonsense with her again
(linguistics is definitely ruining my brain)
idk grammar's kinda cool actually
rien me réjouit plus que voir les traductions de la petite dernière sortir une par une, i love fatima daas so much
thought of the day: butches
i can't believe my room smells like her perfume now this is what i get for taking home the little pschitt-pschitt-ed paper thingy from the perfume store
shoes too small or just too new?
never missed french so much as these days
the fact that tendre is both tender & reaching
alright maybe i do feel a little lonely but i can't be bothered to go out again today
i miss the people i didn't know that well at all which sUcks because it's not like i can reach out to them
seems that my floor is cereal-colored
vingt ans de ma vie à penser que c'était sous les soleils des tropiques but it was sunlights all this time
ensam
thinking about how they punched a bigot <3
no thoughts, only frustration at not being able to get the books i wanted from the library
so many blonds
streSSed
(yes i am thinking about names & languages & the self again)
weird having to introduce myself in english & so using my full first name after the past years of introducing myself in french with a shortened version of it
i am cOld i don't like this
every time i get a new tattoo i spend a few weeks really Feeling Myself like y'all i'm so hot it's incredible
love the idea of people reading my poems
but also
hate the idea of people reading my poems
i can't wait to bake pies & i hope the kitchen has an oven
every time i hug my friends it's one last hug before The Last Hug
it feels so scary getting old
thinking about her often (in a gay way)
erasure poems,,, more like erase me poems
erasure poems,,, i think about you a lot
the world is heavy. crying is good. i just want to nap now.
always hungry maybe i should make fries
gosh france is terrible i hate it here
thinking about leaving is terrifying. i would like to rest. preferably in the bed of someone i love, while they're in the room busy with something else. safety in their smell & their presence.
i miss finding the notes you'd leave me in the morning.
clothes bring me but little joy
i'm getting obsessed with how to code websites damn
sorry can't come to the phone rn, i'm rethinking all my artistic persona
i keep forgetting the pasta water
lots of thoughts. brain on loop
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